Dealing With Grief

Isaiah 53:4  Surely he hath borne our griefs, and carried our sorrows: yet we did esteem him stricken, smitten of God, and afflicted.

One of the great prophecies of Jesus in our Old Testament speaks of His ability to lift our grief and carry our sorrows. His suffering here on earth gives the Lord the ability to fellowship with the pain of death, loss, and tragedy. His supernatural ability coupled with His unconditional love opens the door for us to touch him with the pain we experience through life’s most difficult moments.

The more I am in ministry the more I am learning that grief and sorrow are not bad things to experience. Painful? Yes! Sinful? Absolutely Not! We deal with grief and sorrow through the tragedies in life. Grief and sorrow can be so deep that it has the ability to even change a person’s personality. If grief is not handled correctly then it can cause some deep rooted bitterness that will result in sinful actions. We have to all realize that we have a Savior that is acquainted with all this and wants to carry this for us. The idea of this concept does not mean that Jesus will step into our life and remove grief and then step out of our life. It is the idea that Jesus will come and walk with us through the sorrow and pain all while carrying it on His shoulders.

Grief and sorrow are realities that we will all face at some moment and time. We all handle tragedies differently. There is no “cookie cutter” process that tells the individual exactly how to deal with it. Sometimes it takes time to develop the faith that will allow the sorrow and pain of grief to be placed upon the Lord. I would like to offer some practices that may help you through this:

  • Grief must be allowed to run its course. While the Lord wants to carry it, it also must be acknowledge and experienced. One of the problems is that people have this religious idea of how grief is suppose to look, but the reality is that grief is ugly. People feel vulnerable when grieving so they choose to bury it rather than allow Christ to carry it. If grief is not allowed, then it can never be given to Christ.
  • Grief looks differently for everyone. People have this self made image of what they are suppose to look like. Christians are the world’s worse at thinking grief should look a certain way. I am saying it is okay to cry. It is okay to scream. I would go as far as to say it is okay to have strong conversations with the Lord. Some of my greatest arguments with my children usually resulted in an embrace following. Oh what fellowship!
  • Grief is actually healthy. One of the most healthy things a person can do is grieve through a tragedy. I am convinced that when we allow grief to happen we open the door for grace to do a great work. If we remain closed off then we are not going to allow grace to fill the void that tragedy has left in its wake.

I pray for the one that is hurting. I also urge the one grieving to run to Christ and be honest, raw, and real in His presence. Jesus already knows how you feel. You might as well tell Him so that His presence and power can carry the burden that you were never meant to carry.